somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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