Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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