just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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