i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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