I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
