I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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