There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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