I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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