She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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