I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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