she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
