That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
