it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
