he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
