He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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