i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need to calm my uterus...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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