guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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