I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
