I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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