i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
