can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
