the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
