After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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