The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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