You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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