No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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