god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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