Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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