idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
