It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
