when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
