i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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