Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have fence marks all over my body
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
