Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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