just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
