You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
