my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
