Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
