Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
