then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
