Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
