At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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