Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize