We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize