i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
