Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The feeling are messing with the penis
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
