Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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