Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
