last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I need a beard to bite.
we're so committed to being not committed
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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