it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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