FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
