nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Enjoy the penises
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
