And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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