very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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