Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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