Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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