Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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