A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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