its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
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Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
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I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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