You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
