respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
