i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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